When your memories start to fade and get blurry you might feel as if you are betraying your loved one who died. I sometimes cannot remember if a cute story about my son was really his experience or his sister’s. Post menopausal brains aren’t the most reliable with our precious memories. Men, you are quite fortunate that don’t go through actual menopause.
I have a fairly good memory most of the time but babyhood stories do get jumbled up. My advice to you, even if your child is healthy – write down cute stories and things you want to be able to tell his or her children some day. Cherish the feelings inspired by each story.
When it comes to memories fading about a parent, grand parent, spouse, sibling or friend it can be as distressful. I write letters to the folks who died telling my favorite qualities each possessed and describing the most memorable times we shared. Then, I keep it on the cloud. You can refer back later.
Don’t feel badly if your memory isn’t what it used to be. Honestly, I hope you don’t beat yourself up about it. It is normal as our brains age. But learn from my experience.
If you have other ideas about how to keep your memories from fading, shoot me an email.
Shirley Enebrad is a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist with 25 years of experience. For her many years of work with pediatric cancer patients and those grieving the loss of a loved one, she received the Jefferson Award for Outstanding Public Service and the Angel of Hospice Award. She is the author of Six-Word Lessons on Coping with Grief and Six-Word Lessons for Surviving a Devastating Diagnosis.
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