It’s time to throw out the narrative that makes parents feel like this diagnosis is disastrous. Your child doesn’t need to change; your child needs to learn. Trying to change our children creates stress, overwhelm, drama, and disappointment. And it’s so unnecessary. There is a better way.
We have been taught that “X” is the way kids are supposed to behave, and it’s definitely NOT the way a lot of ADHD kids behave! But instead of being given skills, parents are made to feel inadequate by schools, doctors, and family members that tell them, “You’re doing something wrong.” But it’s not your fault! It’s a matter of learning the techniques that fit your children.
It is so effective to have a team that supports your ADHD child and your family. You can give permission for some of the team members to exchange information. For example, an ADHD family coach could be in touch with a school counselor and a therapist. A physician may have important insights for your coach. With so many people connecting to help you and your family, just imagine the possibilities!
Let me be clear: you are not to become their executive function, but you can be their executive assistant. You make sure they know what they’re doing on a given day, and when things are due. An executive assistant doesn’t run the company but he/she helps the CEO get things done. Also, it’s okay to sit with them and explain instructions or proofread or discuss ideas.
Your children aren’t lazy or unmotivated. It’s ALWAYS something else. They might need glasses, they might have a learning challenge, they might not be getting enough sleep or healthy food. They might be depressed or anxious or have other conditions just waiting to be diagnosed. Just sit and watch how they move through an hour or a day. Learn them. You’ll get some good information about what they need.